


Here I Stand

by Phandabbydosey



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Ableist Language, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Amputation, Betrayal, Crude Medical Procedure, Gore, Graphic Description, Infection, Injury Recovery, Just message if you want some more clarification on that, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medical Procedures, Minor Character Death, Near Death Experiences, Phandom Big Bang, Phandom Big Bang 2015, Prosthesis, Recovery, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse, pbb 2015
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-18 06:00:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9371234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandabbydosey/pseuds/Phandabbydosey
Summary: Zombie AU. Everyone knows that getting bitten is the end, that the only fate is death or reanimation. But Dan is different, Phil can’t just let him go and they agree to a drastic ‘surgery’ to remove Dan’s bitten leg and save his life. However, surviving the procedure is only the beginning and Dan faces numerous obstacles on the rough road to recovery in an extreme and dangerous world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my fic for the 2015 Big Bang, huge huge thank you to Crow (my beta and velcrorave on tumblr) who’s worryingly extensive knowledge of zombie video games has been invaluable. Also shoutout to gatsbys-old-sport on tumblr for helping with the planning of the fic and phan-wishes on tumblr for helping me give the fic an awesome title on the day of posting because I totally forgot that the fic needed a name.

“Dan, I think I can hear something outside.”

        Dan was immediately on alert, his head up and scanning around like a startled bird. There was no such thing as being over cautious, not anymore. It was better to lose a few minutes checking things over than lose your life to an attack you’d brushed off as an insignificant noise.

        Jake, on the other hand, paused for only a moment before returning to the shelves and pushing more cans into his backpack. “S’probably just a cat. We scouted out well earlier and there was nothing for miles. Chill, we need to stock up badly otherwise we’re going to be on emergency supplies by next week.”

        Dan opened his mouth to complain but sighed and closed it again. Jake was right, they really needed to replenish their food stock. He shot Phil a look to tell him to speak up as soon as he heard anything else then got back to work, keeping more attention than usual on his ears.

        Phil let out a quiet huff and walked over to the front window of the store, leaning closer to the glass so could get a better view down the street. Phil knew how much they needed the food, but it wasn’t like Dan to ignore him. Phil was the lookout on scavenging missions for a reason; he was the most vigilant out of the group and he and Dan had an almost telepathic connection that made them an incredibly effective yet also safe scavenging team. They both trusted each other completely, Dan trusting Phil to watch his back while he was occupied with collecting stock and Phil trusting Dan to listen to him and recognise when it was necessary to stop. They knew everything about each other too, weaknesses and strengths, meaning they were almost unstoppable in a battle where they could work together.

        Due to food shortages, however, Dan and Phil had been bringing Jake along on scavenging missions so there was an extra pair of hands and an extra bag to fill. Honestly, Phil hated it. Jake was a risk taker, a trait which was invaluable when it worked out and fatal when it didn’t. Phil didn’t think the benefits were worth it and would much rather just go out with Dan, especially since Dan was a bit of a pushover and wouldn’t stand up when Jake insisted they stay at a location Phil was uncertain about. Phil knew it was just who Dan was, a kind guy who just wanted to avoid conflict, but he wished Dan would be a bit more strong willed.

        The front looked clear so Phil turned to head to the back door, but froze when he heard the bone chilling noise that filled his nightmares. He spun around again and tried to find the source of the moaning, but there was still nothing visible through the window. “Guys,” he hissed back into the shop, keeping his eyes locked on the outside as he spoke. He heard Dan stop again and get to his feet, though the sound of Jake dropping cans into his bag was still audible.

        “What is it?” Dan’s voice was low to match the volume of Phil’s, knowing there was a good reason for it. He approached Phil but stopped suddenly when he heard the tell-tale sound of zombies close by. “How close?” He asked, his bag already on his shoulder and his weapon ready at his side. They hadn’t gone to a particularly dangerous area and needed the extra space so Dan had just brought normal sword and a Bowie knife rather than his usual choice of weapon. Their current residence was within walking distance of the London Natural History Museum, so they had a plethora of weapons to choose from.

        “I don’t know, I can’t see them but they sound real close,” Phil whispered, shuffling nervously on his toes. It was very unsettling to be aware of a threat but not know what direction to defend.

        “We’re getting out of here then, I don’t like this,” Dan muttered, seemingly calmer than Phil though he was gripping the hilt of his sword tight enough to blanch his knuckles, “We’ve got plenty of stuff already.”

        Phil nodded and kept his eyes on the front window as Dan went back to get Jake. Phil could hear Dan literally grabbing Jake and dragging him up to his feet, telling him that they needed to leave immediately. Jake still looked reluctant to leave the well-stocked shelves of the shop they were in; well, he did until Phil let out a shocked shout and jumped away from the window.

        “There must’ve been a horde in the building next to us,” Phil said as he strode into the main area of the shop where Jake had finally straightened up and drawn his weapon. Phil, as lookout, always had his crossbow ready and loaded with a bolt, “We’re going to have to leave through the back and hope they haven’t blocked the exit.”

        “I’m sorry I didn’t listen earlier, if we’d just left when you said we’d be fine,” Dan said quietly as they made their way to the back of the store, dodging boxes that had been strewn across the floor in the owners haste to leave. Whether they left when the trouble started or had holed up in the store for a period of time was indiscernible, the only thing they knew for sure is that no one had been there for a long while.

        “I’ll decide whether you need to apologise depending on whether we get back home or not,” Phil grumbled, but gently brushed his hand against Dan’s so the other would know he wasn’t too mad. He didn’t need the small smile Dan sent him to know he’d understood, but it wasn’t like he was going to pass up seeing Dan’s cute grin.

        “It’s all clear!” Jake called from where he was leaning out of the back door, checking for danger, “There’s a fence to the left we could probably get over but right is clear so no need to make things extra difficult.”

        They were all silent as they stepped out of the door and slowly made their way down the back alley of the shops, listening attentively for any signs of a threat up ahead. The moans and groans of the zombies out the front of the shop were still audible, though they would be easily discernible from anything up ahead.

        Or so they thought.

        Jake had been a few feet ahead of Dan and Phil. None of them thought there would be anything around the corner so, when Jake continued around it rather than waiting for the others to catch up, Dan didn’t say anything other than a quiet grumble. It was safer to stay in a tight group, but for once not doing the best thing might have saved their lives.

        As it was, Jake was the only one who walked right into the crowd of zombies that were hiding around the corner. Jake was the one who felt teeth sink into his neck before he even had a chance to lift his knife and Jake was the one who staggered back to Dan and Phil with blood dripping onto his shirt and crying out to, “Turn back! Turn back!”

        “Jake, you—you’re bit,” Phil stammered, stumbling back from the bleeding boy.

        “I know and it’s my neck so we don’t have much time before I turn,” Jake was surprisingly calm considering the situation, already walking quickly back towards the fenced off end of the alley with Dan and Phil in tow. Other than the black marbled blood staining the front of his shirt, the only indicator that something was wrong was Jake’s voice. It wasn’t a drastic difference, but there was a slight rattle with each anxious exhale and a hint of raggedness tapering off the edge of each sentence. All three were constantly checking back at the zombies that were shambling their way towards them, slow and clumsy but determined as always, “I can help you climb over the fence if we’re quick enough, then you should be able get away. Hurry up, I won’t have long.”

        Dan and Phil’s faces were grim as they ran back to the fence, their hands linked as a silent form of reassurance. Either one of them could’ve been the one bitten, either one could have lost the other if they’d been walking just a few meters ahead of where they were. They both needed to know the other was still safe.

        “Okay, we’ll both help Phil over then I’ll give you a lift up, Dan,” Jake said once they’d reached the fence. Dan and Phil nodded, trying to avert their eyes from the bite mark on Jake’s neck. The skin and veins around the wound were stained black by the virus present in the saliva of the zombies, the virus that would have already travelled to his brain and began his transformation into a shambling, flesh eating monster.

        It was easy to push Phil up and over the high fence, but Jake was starting to falter as he bent down to offer Dan a foothold. As the virus started to hijack the victim’s brain, muscle coordination and control would begin to wane as the brain was rewired. The victim would fight it initially, until there wasn’t enough human brain function left to resist the virus’ need to feed on human flesh.

        Dan could tell Jake was close to losing his battle against the virus and quickly pushed against his hand to try and get up over the fence. He gasped quietly as Jake’s support wasn’t as solid as he’d anticipated, meaning he didn’t quite get the height he needed to reach the top of the fence. Phil watched helplessly from the other side as Dan’s fingers hooked into the chain link a few inches from the top, his feet scrabbling for purchase on the metal. “Jake—Jake step back!” Phil shouted, seeing the way Jake’s eyes were darkening. His pupils were dilating massively, a sign that he would be fully converted within a few minutes. He needed to get himself away from Dan while he still could, before he would start attacking. Phil couldn’t lose both of them.

        “I can still help, we don’t have time for him to get over himself,” Jake’s voice was slurred and he was leaning heavily on the fence. Using some last reserves of energy, he pushed himself upright and grabbed one of Dan’s feet to help push him up over the fence.

        For a few seconds, it seemed like it was going to work, that Jake would be able to fight off the infection for long enough and use his last moments to save his friend. It seemed like they were going to be lucky.

        But luck didn’t exist in their world now. Phil was cruelly reminded of this fact as he watched Jake’s expression change to one that was far from human, a cry rising in his throat as he realised it was too late and he wouldn’t be able to do anything but watch as his boyfriend was doomed. Jake’s fingers tightened around Dan’s ankle and he yanked on it, Dan just about managing to hang onto the fence though his free leg was now dangling uselessly in the air. Dan shrieked as Jake reached up with his mouth, sinking his teeth into the skin around his ankle.

        The pain seemed to give Dan a surge of adrenaline, enabling him to kick Jake away and heave himself over the fence. He landed heavily on the other side, collapsing into a heap on the floor and almost immediately started to cry loudly, weeping for all he’d lost.

        “Dan—Dan we need to get out of here, it’s not safe,” Phil choked out, his own face soaked with tears. He couldn’t lose Dan, he _couldn’t_.

        “No, you—you need to get out,” Dan sobbed, slowly getting to his feet but keeping a safe distance from Phil, “You need to get back to the base before you get hurt, before I end up hurting you.”

        Phil’s gaze travelled from Dan to the fence behind, where what used to be Jake was pressed up against the chain link, mindlessly gnashing his jaws and looking hungrily at Dan. Phil shook his head and reached forward, grabbing Dan’s hand and holding on tightly. “ _We’re_ going back,” he said as firmly as could around the lump in his throat, “Jake was only just turned when he bit, the virus might not have reached his saliva. You might…You could still be okay. I’m not going to just leave you alone here to give up, not if there’s a chance you’ll be okay.”

        “Phil, the chance of me not being infected is microscopic,” Dan sighed, shaking his head and letting his gaze drop down to the crossbow attached to Phil’s hip. One bolt to the head and he wouldn’t even turn, he’d die instantly and – more importantly – he would stay dead/permanently.

        Phil was staring at Dan’s face, not wanting to miss a second when their time together could have just been cut dramatically shorter, so he saw where Dan’s eyes moved to. Of course, he was going to try and be heroic, insist Phil kills him before he can become a threat. Phil knew he would have to eventually should Dan be infected, but he wouldn’t do it until he really needed to. He wasn’t going to lose Dan even a second before he had to.

        Dan looked back up and met Phil’s eyes, letting out a sigh when he saw the familiar stubborn glint in them. “Fine,” he let his head fall forward so his forehead was resting against Phil’s, “I’ll come back with you. But promise me that you’ll kill me before I turn, I don’t want you to have to see me become…one of them.” Dan was more than aware of the sounds coming from Jake and knew without looking what he had turned into. He would still be recognisable as the boy they’d been living with for months, but his entire venous system would be visible in a purpley-black colour and his eyes would be bottomless black holes. Dan didn’t want Phil to see him that way.

        “Okay, I promise,” Phil whispered, giving Dan’s hand a squeeze and gently brushing their lips against each other, “I love you.”

        “I love you too,” Dan replied, reciprocating the squeeze before pulling back, “We should go before the ones around the front realise how to get to us.”

        Phil nodded, glancing down to the bloody fabric on the ankle of Dan’s jeans worriedly, “Are you okay to walk on that?”

        “Yeah, he didn’t even bite that deeply,” Dan said with a dismissive wave of his hand. He could feel the bite wound throbbing, but it wasn’t too painful. Dan tried not to let this fact get his hopes up; those who had enough time to talk after being bitten reported a burning sensation as the virus moved through their bloodstream and up to their brain. Maybe he wasn’t feeling it because Jake didn’t have enough viral bodies in his saliva to infect, or maybe it was because the bite was fairly superficial so the virus would take longer to reach his blood. He wouldn’t let Phil know either, Dan knew he was an optimist and would cling onto anything that increased Dan’s chances of survival. Phil’s head would already be working overtime to convince itself that Dan would be okay, giving him anything close to actual evidence would just be cruel.

        “Okay, let’s get going then,” Phil said, readying his crossbow before they began the short journey back to home base, Dan limping a little but carrying on determinedly.

        Phil held tightly onto Dan’s hand the whole way.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Dan and Phil had been living in a house in Kensington for what they thought was around eight months. It was perfectly positioned, close to a water source in a nearby park, a supermarket, the Imperial College of London and the Natural History and Science Museum. There was a large group of people settled in the museum who were more than willing to trade a range of items for historical – but still very effective – weapons, and there all manner of useful things to be found in the university.

        The house they were staying was pretty much perfect. It was a four story tall townhouse, meaning they could comfortably live on the middle two floors, have the ground floor as a ‘final defence’ and the top one for safe storage of supplies. There were small balconies on the first and second floor that overlooked the street, giving them an ideal vantage point from which to defend against anything that wanted to attack them.

        Their current group had been the same for most of the time they’d been at the house, the only change being Jake joining them in the last few months. They were a mismatched bunch of people, but they worked well as a team and got along well most of the time. Making a group of seven – six since Jake’s death – live together in a smallish space would cause friction in any scenario, but adding in the threat of being eaten alive by the living dead meant tensions could run high at points. Things had never gotten too far though, bar one or two occurrences of weapons being drawn at the climax of an argument.

        As Dan and Phil approached the house, they could see Will sat lookout on the first floor balcony and Phil waved over to let him know they were safe. Whenever someone was out on a food run they kept someone on lookout at all times, just in case the runners hit trouble and needed to be let in quickly.

        Will had been travelling with Dan and Phil since the start. He’d been studying Mechanical Engineering at Imperial College, where Phil had been studying Media, and was a friend of Dan’s from high school. Dan had been visiting him when things fell apart, so they’d teamed up with a group of media students ventured out into London. The early days were rough and the loss of life was heavy, those that did survive eventually splitting up into smaller groups. Dan and Phil had grown close in the time they were together and Will’s other friends hadn’t made it, so they decided to stick together.

        Will had grown up on a farm in the Welsh valleys, his childhood hobby of tinkering with farming equipment leading to his choice of degree. Even though he’d moved to Reading in his mid-teens, his voice still had a significant Welsh lilt on most of his vocabulary. He kept his mousey brown hair in something that vaguely resembled a mohican, though it was incredibly shaggy and choppily cut. It was longer in the front than the back, meaning Will was constantly pushing it back up over itself into a quiff. He said it was just how he wanted it, but everyone knew it was his little way of holding onto his old life. They all had them, Will’s was just wanting to recognise the man he saw in the mirror. So long as he kept it short enough to be safe from undead fingers and clean enough to not cause issue with their noses, no one really cared enough to complain.

        Will’s engineering skills had been invaluable to the group, though he was a little eccentric when it came to actually using them. He’d rigged up a complex security system on the building that none of the others even bothered to try and understand and he was a whizz when it came to creating or modifying weapons. He’d built Phil’s crossbow and, among other things, created what Dan had named ‘the Defiler’. It was a hammer and axe lashed together with a sword from the museum fixed between them, it could smash brains and slice heads in one swing and Dan had taken a strong liking to it; he took it out on pretty much every supply run or when he wanted to look especially intimidating to the group at the museum. No one could fault Will’s creativity, though they’d had to have a word with him when he created a ‘nail gun’ that had almost embedded a nine inch nail into Dan’s eye socket.

        “Where’s Jake? Is Dan hurt?” Kyle appeared in the doorway of the house, jumping over the tripwire Will had set as part of the security system when he noticed Dan limping.

        None of them really knew much about Kyle’s past, just that he came from a rough part of Holloway. They didn’t know where his family was, how he learnt to fight so well or how he got the dark scar that ran down his right forearm. They did know that he was strong, vigilant, kept his hair in a practical buzz cut and was downright lethal in a fight, which was all they really needed to know. They also knew that he had some sort of grudge against Zoe, though no one really understood why. He said she was dangerous, but one look at her told the complete opposite.

        Zoe was a fairly unremarkable looking woman with short blonde hair and grey eyes who had joined the group in a rather interesting way. Dan and Will had been up to the park to collect water and, just as they’d been filling up the final container, they’d heard a chorus of screams. Few people still cared enough to help a stranger in need, but neither Dan nor Will would be able to just ignore such a terrified plea for help.

        The scene they arrived at was not what they’d been expecting. There were bodies everywhere and the grass was bloodstained, but none of that was out of the ordinary. What was unexpected was Zoe on her knees in the gore while Kyle stood over her with a knife held up, ready to deal a fatal blow. Thinking she’d been bitten, Dan and Will hung back until she noticed them and started shouting for them to, “Help! Help, he’s going to kill me!”

        Will was never one to really think about a situation in full before jumping in, which was the main reason he stayed back at base rather than going out on anything more dangerous than a water run, so he immediately sprinted over and aimed his hand built longbow at Kyle’s head. Dan only arrived as quickly as he did because he didn’t want Will to end up getting stabbed by the obviously aggressive man with whom he’d now engaged with in a standoff. Dan quickly had his guard up, since there was no obvious sign of a bite on the girl and there was an almost mad glint of rage in the man’s eyes.

        “What’s going on here then?” Will had asked in an overly polite voice, his bow drawn and ready to fire, “Is she infected or are you just going to kill her for no reason?”

        “Fuck off mate, you don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Kyle spat, jaw set firmly as he kept his knife poised. He’d shifted his weight slightly so he was facing Dan and Will a little more, obviously recognising them as a threat. Only an idiot wouldn’t really, not when Dan was holding his Defiler and Will had an arrow ready to launch, “She deserves this.”

        “Seems a bit harsh,” Dan said carefully, regretting getting themselves involved, “What’s happened?”

        “He’s saying I caused this,” Zoe’s eyes were wide and pleading with Dan and Will to believe her as she gestured to the carnage around them, “He’s talking rubbish and saying it’s my fault a hoard got into the base. He’s just looking for someone to blame and we’ve lost everyone else. He just needs to calm down.”

        “Right, well why don’t we all put our weapons down then go back to somewhere safe and sort things out there?” Dan suggested, not sure whether he wanted these people in their home but not wanting to risk leaving them alone. Also, the amount of blood around could attract more zombies and he really wasn’t in the mood to take down a horde, “One of us can go back to base and get some tea, might help everyone calm down.”

        Having been given a chance to calm down, Kyle was a lot more reasonable. He apologised to Zoe and explained that he had a short temper at the best of times and was acting irrationally in the wake of losing a majority of their group. Everyone understood, people reacted to grief in all sorts of ways, though they were all wary of Kyle for a few months. Kyle was still cold around Zoe, but she insisted it was just because she was linked to bad memories. Kyle didn’t argue, just quietly got on with his duties and gradually gained a tentative trust with the rest of the group. No one could quite get over the circumstances under which he arrived, but he’d proved himself to be a good fighter and very battle smart so most of them were happy to go out into the field with him.

        “It’s fine Kyle, we’ll sort it out when we’re inside,” Dan muttered. He didn’t answer the question about Jake, and Kyle didn’t pursue it; it was clear what had happened.

        “Well get Scott to check you over anyway, both of you,” Kyle said pointedly. Health had become a top priority since the dead started waking up again.

        Their group was lucky enough to actually have a doctor as a member. The very Scottish, very ginger Scott - or Dr. Booker as he was previously known - had been a key part of their survival of their group as a whole. Dan wouldn’t be around anymore if Scott hadn’t been there to fix him up after food runs gone wrong and collateral damage from Will’s weapon testing would also be far more extensive. He was a perfectionist and his distaste for Will’s rather gung-ho, trial and error approach to life provided a lot of entertainment for the rest of the group, especially when they had to work together on the cooking.

        Scott had started travelling with Dan, Phil and Will a month or so after they split with their old group. They’d found him when breaking into a house to find shelter for the night, struggling to get by while also taking care of a young girl he’d found wandering around the streets all alone.

        Lily hadn’t been what anyone was expecting when they first saw her hiding behind Scott, just a pair of big dark eyes and a wisp of black hair. She quickly warmed up to them though and stopped clinging onto Scott for security as she realised the Will wasn’t actually insane and, even with all his weapons, Dan was the opposite of scary.

        Lily was a very sweet thirteen year old, her Indian heritage giving her gorgeous dark skin and a very beautiful, delicate face. She was the complete opposite though and Phil would openly admit that he was reluctant to take her on in a fight. No one was completely certain, but she seemed to have lost her family early on and spent a month or two getting by on her own before Scott found her, curled up in the back of the stockroom of a small corner shop and brandishing a meat cleaver. The experience had definitely hardened the young girl and she was prone to shutting herself off from her emotions, but she was definitely more trusting of the group as she spent more time with them.

        Lily didn’t have a specific role in the group, she spent most of her time either helping Scott with the cooking and organisation of food, or learning various skills from the others. Dan and Will had spent a lot of time teaching her combat techniques and, much to Phil’s dismay, they didn’t exactly go soft on her. They didn’t see a need to, not when she had great natural instincts and was a quick learner. She took a liking to swords, so on one of the trading visits to the museum, Dan had swapped a few books and his personal tins of sweet peaches for a small rapier especially for Lily. She’s been ecstatic to finally have a weapon to call her own, and Phil’s disapproving tutting had certainly made her giggle. Phil was definitely the mother hen of the group.

        Will had obviously been able to tell an attack had occurred, so Scott had already pulled out the medical supplies and was waiting at the entrance to the first floor. Most of the first floor was used as a living area, everyone other than Kyle using the second floor for bedrooms. Kyle felt safer being closer to the ground and, as he was the main lookout and guard, felt it was his responsibility to be on ‘the front line’ should the house need defending. There were then three bedrooms on the second floor, Dan and Phil sharing one, Will, Scott and Lily in another while Zoe occupied the final one. They’d collected any furniture that wasn’t already in the building and had created a functional, yet very comfortable home.

        “I’m alright, but Dan has an…uh…an injury,” Phil explained as he guided Dan onto one of the tattered sofas.

        “On his foot?” Scott questioned as he knelt down beside the sofa, getting ready to examine Dan.

        “Yeah, his ankle,” Phil said, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Dan shot Phil a warning look as Scott began removing his shoes for him; they’d know immediately how Dan had sustained such an injury, Phil shouldn’t be acting like it was anything less than what it was. But Dan still held his tongue, didn’t say anything either.

        Will was quietly asking Phil about what had happened, surprised that someone had been lost in what had been assumed to be a safe-ish area. His sentence stopped dead when Scott removed Dan’s sock.

        There was a few moments of silence, everyone frozen and staring at the blackened blood congealing in the distinctly jaw shaped wound on Dan’s ankle. Then, something seemed to snap Kyle into his sense because he was suddenly up on his feet and levelling an antique rifle at Dan’s head, face reddening in anger. “He’s infected! Why the hell did you bring him back here Phil? Do you want to get us all killed?!”

        “Kyle!” Will yanked the man backwards while Phil dived in front of Dan protectively, “He’s far from turning point, you don’t need to be waving that gun around. Calm down!”

        “No! I will not calm down when there’s a zombie sitting on the sofa!” Kyle yelled.

        “Hey, don’t say that about him!” Phil snapped, his hand moving towards his knife as he stepped towards Kyle. He wouldn’t ever actually use it in an argument, but Kyle was threatening Dan and Phil needed to protect him. He hadn’t done it when they were in the alleyway so he had to do it now.

        “Stop it! All of you, stop it now!” Dan had pushed past Scott and gotten to his feet, limping into the middle of the imminent fight and holding his arms up in the air, “We didn’t know if I was infected or not, okay? Jake had barely turned when he bit me and there was no staining, that’s why we came back here.” Dan’s voice turned quieter, softer, and he let his dark eyes wander around each of the members of their little group, “But we know now. Infection is obviously going to be slow, so I’ll say my goodbyes then I’ll leave. I’ll make sure I-I end it before I turn.”

        “Dan-You can’t-“ Phil choked out, tears welling up in his eyes. He shook his head and looking beseechingly at Scott, “We-There must be something we can do. I can’t…I can’t lose him.”

        “I’m sorry, Phil,” Scott shook his head, a hopeless expression on his face. This new world was tough on him, there were so many people he couldn’t save and that cut him deep.

        “It’ll be okay Phil,” Dan murmured and gently turned Phil around to face him, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. Phil latched on tightly and almost immediately broke down, ugly sobs bursting from deep in his chest as he held the boy he loved for what might be the last time. Dan had tears running down his own face, the silent tears of a doomed man.

        While everyone had been shouting, Will had been staring intently at the dark wound and the short stretch of black veins climbing up Dan’s leg. They only reached a few inches above the bite and the movement wasn’t even visible. Will gestured for Scott to come over, a thoughtful expression on his face. “It’s not even reached the middle of his shin yet,” Will whispered, not wanting to intrude on Dan and Phil’s moment, “Could we stop it by…you know-cutting above it?”

        “You mean amputating?” Scott’s eyes widened and he immediately shook his head, but paused when he looked down at Dan’s ankle, “I don’t know, we don’t really know how infection works. It might be too late already but…if the black spread is the venom then, theoretically, amputating above it would stop it reaching the brain and causing transformation. But it’d be so dangerous, the procedure and the recovery. Surely it would be impossible in this disaster for someone to survive with only one leg.”

        “I could try and build a prosthetic or something. There might be some books on it in the university,” Will suggested, not wanting to just give up on his friend when there might be an alternative, “I’ll definitely be able to build some crutches. Surely it’s at least worth a try; it might save him.”

        “Will, an amputation is a serious operation, one that people would die from even before all of this started,” Scott said, trying to get his point across. He didn’t want to see Dan die, but he was skeptical about the chance of success, “We don’t have surgical equipment or blood for transfusion and I haven’t performed many amputations at all.”

        “But you know how to do one, don’t you?” Will pressed, getting a cautious nod from Scott in response, “Well why don’t we just give it a try? If it doesn’t work, Dan will end up the same way. But, if it works, Dan will be alive and Phil won’t lose the only person he has left in the world and we won’t lose our friend. _You’ll_ have saved his life, Scott.” Will was well aware that it was a bit of a low blow, knowing how Scott felt about his newfound helplessness, but he’d known Dan for years and wasn’t going to just let him go without a fight.

        Scott swallowed thickly as he thought over Will’s words, deliberating a moment before closing his eyes and nodding. “I’ll go talk to him now. He needs to know the risks and decide for himself, I don’t want Phil to know about this until he agrees. It’ll just crush him even more if Dan decides against it.”

        Will nodded and Scott left it to him to peel Dan and Phil apart. Will said something about Scott wanting to look over Dan’s bite and work out how long he had so Phil reluctantly let go, still sniffling and quickly kissing Dan before letting him go.

        “Can we make this quick Scott?” Dan said as let the doctor lead him through to another room, his voice thick with tears and his eyes bloodshot. He wanted to keep himself together as much as possible until he was alone, Phil would have a hard enough time coping without Dan being a mess too.

        “Actually, I wanted to ask you something,” Scott spoke slowly, “We think-Will and I think there might be a way to stop you turning.”

        “What?!” Dan’s whole demeanour changed, from despairing to a tentative hope, “Please, please I’ll do anything. I can’t leave Phil.”

        “I can’t promise it’ll work and it’ll…be brutal if it does,” Scott looked Dan in the eye, wanting him to take this completely seriously, “I think I might be able to stop the venom spreading if I amputate your leg above the point at which the venom reached. We don’t have proper surgical equipment, blood transfusions are usually needed because of the blood loss caused, the recovery will be incredibly hard and you’ll be terribly vulnerable to infection for a long time. Will thinks he’ll be able to build you a prosthetic of sorts but how effective it will be, we don’t know. The procedure will be agonising because we have no method of anaesthetising you, nor do we have any pain relief stronger than paracetamol. But there is a chance that, if you survive, it will stop the venom, so the choice is all yours. You will need to be quick though, the longer we wait the further we’ll have to amputate and it’ll be better if we can go below the knee.”

        Dan was silent for a few seconds, swallowing audibly as he contemplated the pain he would go through if he agreed. He didn’t want to do it and maybe he would have denied the offer, but the image of Phil’s distraught face flashed up in his mind and he knew he had to try. He couldn’t leave Phil.

        So he took a deep breath and nodded, trying to keep his hands from shaking as he said, with certainty, “I’ll do it.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

Of course, it was easy to get Phil’s blessing to continue with the procedure. He told himself he agreed so readily because Dan deserved to live a long and happy life, though he knew it was mostly selfish reasons. He didn’t want to lose him, he couldn’t lose him.

        Phil had travelled down from Lancaster to study media at Imperial College, where he’d lived in the same flat as Will and quickly became friends with the bubbly boy. He hadn’t factored in the threat of an apocalypse occurring when he made the decision to travel so far from home, so he’d found himself stuck half a country away from his family with no feasible way to get back to them. Not having been the most sociable person, Phil’s only close friend had been Will and eventually Dan made it onto the list, being promoted to boyfriend a couple of months after they started travelling together. Phil liked the rest of their group, but Dan was by far the most important person in his world and he didn’t think he’d be able to cope if he were to lose him.

        For once though, Phil didn’t really care that he was being selfish.

        So, less than fifteen minutes after he’d agreed, Dan found himself laying down across one of the sofas, a piece of tarpaulin stretched out beneath him and a half empty bottle of whiskey clutched in his trembling fist. When scavenging in a house one day, Dan had found a whole cupboard full of old and obviously expensive whiskies. Figuring he wouldn’t get a chance to try that sort of thing ever again and knowing alcohol might come in useful, Dan had shoved as many bottles as he could into his backpack before they left. One of two of the bottles had been opened when someone was having a particularly bad night – everyone had them and some found drink to be the best way to cope – and now Dan had decided it might make a good painkiller.

        They didn’t have time to wait for Dan to completely knock himself out with the booze, though he did manage to reach a decent level of incoherency by the time Scott had gathered all the tools he’d need and doused them with alcohol to sterilise.

        Phil was sitting on the sofa, Dan’s head in his lap as he carded his hands through the boy’s curly hair and murmuring softly to him, trying to keep him as calm as possible.

        “Right, Zoe you take Lily up the roof. She doesn’t need to hear this,” Kyle said as Scott tied a tourniquet about two thirds of the way down Dan’s thigh, constricting the flow of blood in his femoral artery. The veins were stained to halfway up his shin so Scott decided to amputate four inches below the knee. That way, Dan could keep the joint and a prosthetic could be much simpler, while still getting a good few inches ahead of the virus.

        Zoe nodded and let Lily give Dan a quick hug – which he reciprocated rather sloppily – before taking her upstairs. Lily adored Dan, he was the one who taught her most of what she knew regarding combat and had admitted that he reminded her of her elder brother. They weren’t too worried about her seeing the gore, she’d seen worse, but seeing someone she cared about in so much pain wouldn’t be good for her.

        “Right, I think we’re all set to go,” Scott announced and Dan slipped his hand into Phil’s, squeezing it tightly. Will put the handle of a wooden spoon into Dan’s mouth for him to bite down on and prevent any damage to his teeth, then everyone took up a position to help hold him still. Kyle and Will were in charge of his legs and torso, while Phil held his chest and head and tried his hardest to keep him as settled as he could.

        “Everyone ready?” They all nodded.

        “Dan? Ready?” Dan made an affirmative noise and held Phil’s hand impossibly tighter, screwing his eyes closed and clenching his teeth around the spoon handle. He heard the clink of metal as Scott lifted the knife and, from then on, Dan’s world was just pain.

        Phil’s breathing was shaky as used his free hand, the one that wasn’t being crushed by Dan, to keep petting his hair and his face while he whispered soothing words that he wasn’t even sure Dan heard. Dan was clearly trying his hardest to keep his pained noises in, but Phil’s heart was still breaking as he listened to the small whimpers and whines that slipped out from around the spoon. Phil didn’t like the thought of Dan internalising his reactions, knowing that he would be doing it for Phil’s sake, and kind of wished he would just let out any noises he needed to.

        Phil regretted his wishes a few minutes later, when having Scott cutting through his muscle apparently became too much for him to bear. When the blood curdling, agony filled shrieks started erupting from Dan’s mouth, Kyle and Will both stared resolutely away from where Scott was working as they fought against Dan’s reflexive jerks and spasms. Phil just focused on his boyfriend’s face, eyes screwed up tightly and leaking tears as he kept up his futile attempts to comfort the other boy.

After about twenty minutes of Dan screaming to the point of hoarseness and Phil being tempted to just shove Scott away and let Dan have some peace, Scott put his knife down and picked up the saw. It was just a normal bow saw, one of Will’s tools used for working with wood and metal, but it was the only thing they had that could cut through bone neatly enough.

Scott and Phil’s eyes met, apologetic green to despairing blue. “I just have to cut through the bone now, then it’ll be done,” Scott’s voice was thick as he handed Phil the whiskey bottle again, causing so much pain went against all his instincts as a doctor. He knew, in the end, it was the only way he could possibly save Dan, but it was incredibly hard to continue when his patient was wailing and writhing in pain, “It’s all going well though, his veins are spasming so there’s not been too much blood loss.”

Phil swallowed and nodded, carefully feeding Dan some more whiskey in the hopes of making things easier. Dan was barely responsive now, his eyes were screwed up tightly and he was whimpering pitifully even though Scott wasn’t doing anything at that moment. He didn’t seem to be aware of anything other than the pain in his leg.

Scott gave Dan a short while to rest and have more drink before grimly leaning back over his leg and starting to saw. Dan’s cries rose an octave and he almost managed to jerk out of hands restraining him, started to babble incoherent pleas for it to, “Stop stop stop, please stop!”

“It’s almost done Dan, not much more I promise,” Phil sobbed weakly and kissed Dan’s forehead, his thumb caressing Dan’s tear sodden cheeks as he tried to tune out Dan begging for death.

Finally, it all became too much for Dan and, after letting out a final, harrowing screech, his body went limp as he fell into blissful unconsciousness.

———————————————–

As he slowly began swimming back up into consciousness, Dan became aware of two things. The first was the excruciating, white hot burning pain in his leg, pain that seemed to be radiating from below his knee and up through his entire body. The second thing he noticed was the warmth that seemed to be surrounding him, a much more gentle and comforting warmth than the fire that was consuming his leg.

        A groan slipped between his lips and he felt something begin to gently comb through his hair. He slowly recognised the voice that had begun to whisper to him and realised he was in Phil’s embrace, his whole body laying atop Phil’s so he was almost totally enveloped.

A glass was pressed up to his lips and Dan suddenly became aware of how parched he was, his throat completely raw from all the screaming earlier. His eyes still closed, Dan eagerly took a gulp, immediately starting to splutter as fiery whiskey scorched his sore throat. Dan coughed and whimpered as he tried to turn his head away from the glass and the offending liquid, only to have Phil hold him in place and force him to drink.

“It’s okay Dan, just-just drink this to help with the pain,” Phil’s voice was thick with tears as he watched Dan suffering so much, “Just a little more then you can have some water.”

Grimacing and struggling all the way, Dan eventually finished the glass of whiskey and his eyes slowly opened. Everything was a little blurry from both the overwhelming pain and the alcohol filling his system, but Dan could just about make out a pair of bright blue and very worried eyes looking down at him. “I…Hurts,” he croaked, blinking rapidly to try and clear his vision, “Why does it hurt Phil?”

“Can you remember what happened? When we were out getting food?” Phil asked slowly, not sure if Dan was totally there and capable of conversation. To Phil’s surprise, he got a nod in response so continued explaining, “Scott had to amputate your leg to save you. You’ve had a lot of whiskey and lost a lot of blood which is why your head is so woozy, but it’s all gone okay and we don’t think there’s any virus left either. It looks like you’re going to be okay, Dan.”

“Wh-What’s going to happen though?” Dan couldn’t get his voice above a whisper and he was having trouble staying awake, but he needed to get as much information as he could before he slipped back into sleep, “How much of my leg is left? And Jake…Jake’s gone. Who’s going to get food?”

“Shhh, calm down,” Phil cooed and shuffled so he was holding Dan a little tighter, trying to ignore the way he could feel the point at which Dan’s leg suddenly ended, “You don’t need to worry about any of that, just focus on getting better. Everything’s been sorted, we were talking about it while you were asleep. Will’s going to build you a prosthetic, Scott said it should be fairly simple since you still have your knee, and Kyle’s going to take your place food running. Will might come along sometimes too. So you don’t need to worry.”

Dan relaxed a little as Phil explain how maybe everything wasn’t going to be ruined in wake of this. Phil felt Dan getting a little heavier as he started to become more of a dead weight and he knew he was going to be unconscious again soon, but he had one more thing to say. “Are you mad at me? I know you only went through with it because I wanted you to and if I’d let you climb over the fence first then you wouldn’t have even got bit and-”

“Phil, stop,” Dan said as firmly as he could when he was completely drained of his strength, “Don’t ever blame yourself for any of this. I chose to let Scott try this, mostly because I didn’t want to leave you but I still made the choice myself. And don’t you ever wish this had happened to you instead, I’d rather have all four limbs chewed off by rats than have to watch you go through this. I love you and I’m not mad in the slightest.”

“I love you too,” Phil smiled softly and carefully leant down to kiss Dan’s lips, not wanting to jostle the delicate boy, “Now go back to sleep, I can see that you’re shattered and Scott said it’ll be good for you to rest.”

Dan nodded and sent Phil one more loving smile before his eyes fluttered closed and he quickly fell asleep.

———————————————

        It had been a week since the operation - a word that being used very lightly, especially by Scott - and Dan was coping as well as they could expect.

        The first couple of days had been absolute hell. Any time he wasn’t piss drunk or passed out, Dan was screaming and crying at just how much it _hurt._ Scott avoided being in the room with him any longer than necessary, coming in solely to change the bandage and check over the wound, and both Lily and Zoe hadn’t been in at all, much to Lily’s displeasure. A slightly drunken smile had actually briefed Dan’s face when they’d heard Lily shouting to demand Zoe let her come down and see Dan. Kyle had gone up to diffuse the situation before Lily took matters into her own hands, since Zoe likely couldn’t handle a riled up Lily alone.

        Thankfully, with the help of _a lot_ of whiskey, the pain became a little more tolerable after a few days and Dan was actually able to hold a coherent conversation that wasn’t just mumbled words of love to Phil.

        While his physical state was improving, his mental wellbeing was slipping right down the drain. There was a reason Dan had chosen to always be involved with the supply runs, ever since the apocalypse occurred and they’d spent months essentially trapped inside the university campus, Dan hadn’t liked being idle for long periods of time. He liked getting outside and feeling fresh air on his face, so being bed bound in the stagnant, stuffy air of the house was driving him insane.

        Phil tried to keep Dan busy, but he was too weak to be of any use in the day to day jobs and no one missed the envious glare Dan had shot Phil, Will and Kyle when they left for a food run. Dan was well aware of how bleak his future was, even with a prosthetic he may never be able to run meaning it’d be too risky to have him out in the field, so he couldn’t help but feel jealous.

        The lack of sleep really wasn’t helping either. Dan main source of rest was when he passed out drunk, the pain was still too raw for him to be able to fall asleep naturally. The unnatural resting and exhaustion from being in constant pain left heavy bags under Dan’s eyes and clouds in his brain, clouds that made it even harder for him to see the lighter side of his situation.

        But he was still breathing and talking which was more than could be said for some people. He was surviving.

        Since he was much more lucid, it was deemed suitable for Lily to come back downstairs without being too traumatised. Within seconds of being given permission, Lily had thundered down the stairs and thrown herself into Dan’s arms, her eyes watering a little as Dan hugged her back warmly and whispered that he was okay.

        Lily spent even more time than usual with Dan now, keeping him company when Phil was out and curling up next to him in the evenings when everyone was resting. She didn’t seem to care that Dan was too out of it to answer back a majority of the time, she knew having her there made him feel a little better so tried her hardest to be there for him.

        “Lils, you okay there?” Phil whispered one evening, kneeling down beside the sofa where Lily was tucked under a sleeping Dan’s arm, “D’you need some help getting out?”

        “No, I’m okay,” Lily’s tone was even softer than Phil’s, her lips twitching up into a small smile, “I just…I don’t like seeing him hurt so much. I know he smiles and stuff for me but I can tell he’s really hurting.”

        “None of us like seeing it, love,” Phil sighed, sitting down properly and carefully brushing a few strands of hair from Dan’s forehead. It was a rare period of serenity in the house; Scott and Will were washing up from dinner in the corner, Kyle was out on lookout, Zoe was in the upper rooms doing something and Dan was sleeping. It was calm and quiet, a nice piece of respite from their increasingly hectic and stressful lives, “But it’ll only get better from here. He’ll heal and hopefully Will can make him a new leg then he’ll be back to his old self.”

        “He won’t though, will he?” Lily asked sadly, her big dark eyes turning to gaze morosely into Phil’s, “He won’t be the same after this, it’s too much for him to just get over. My…My mum died when I was little, before all this started, and my dad got better but he was never the same as he had been before. When things this big happen, people change.” Lily had always surprised them with how wise she was, seeming to have taken the tragedies she’d witnessed and used them to build a very mature worldview. In a way it was sad that such a young girl had been forced grow up much too early, but it was admirable how well she’d used those experiences to adapt to a terrifying new world.

        “I’m sorry about your mum,” Phil murmured. They still didn’t know much about Lily’s past, just snippets that came up in conversation such as this, “And you’re right, this will definitely affect him and we don’t know how. But Dan’s very strong and he has all of us to help him. He might not be the same but he’ll be okay.”

        Lily wasn’t sure if Phil was reassuring her or himself at that point, but she nodded and cuddled closer to Dan’s sleeping body. Phil kissed them both on the head before draping them with a blanket and settling down on the floor to read.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Things were alright until Dan was in his third week of recovery. He was still in a lot of pain, but it was actually manageable now and he only drank in the evenings to help him get to sleep. He was still pretty weak, but he could help with small tasks so had a little bit of purpose back into his life.

        Then his fever hit. Scott had been getting a little concerned about the wound, having to redress it more and more regularly just to keep it clean, and this just confirmed his fears. Dan had an infection; a pretty severe one by the looks of it, though he didn’t tell Phil that.

        Phil once again handed a majority of his responsibilities over to the others as Dan deteriorated and once again needed twenty four hour care. It was painful for them all to see just how quickly Dan succumbed to the infection. His temperature was through the roof and he was constantly panting, his lips dry and cracked as Phil tried his hardest to keep him hydrated and keep him grounded when his heat melted brain made him delusional.

        “Is it getting worse?” Dan asked as Scott unwrapped the pressure bandage from around his stump. He didn’t need to ask, the swollen, red skin that seemed to be stretched tightly around the wound and the clearly unhealthy smell that came from it made it clear.

        Scott knew Dan and Phil weren’t idiots, so he nodded solemnly. “Yes, I’m afraid it’s getting worse,” he sighed, using the salt water solution they’d made up to start wiping away the dried fluids from around the infected stump, “We’re just going to have to keep it as clean as we can, maybe use the antiseptic more often and hope it clears up.”

        “What if it doesn’t clear up?” Phil asked tentatively, keeping his voice low and out of earshot for Lily across the room.

        “The infection will spread until it reaches his heart or his lungs or any major organ, or it’ll cause septicaemia and…”

        “And I’ll die?” Dan asked bluntly, though he made the volume of his voice match Phil’s. He kept his expression as blank as possible, but the pain of the realisation was clear in his eyes. He just wanted to be strong until he was alone with Phil.

        Scott didn’t say anything, just sighed and nodded before returning his focus to Dan’s leg, mumbling about how ‘if only I had some flucloxacillin, this would be simple to fix’. It obviously wasn’t meant to be heard by anyone, just Scott internally lamenting about his lack of proper medical supplies, but Phil found it sticking in his head. There was something that could wipe out the infection easily, something that didn’t hold the high possibility of failure that their current method did. Dan could recover from the infection pretty much risk free, but they just didn’t have the medicine.

        Phil was thoughtfully quiet as he helped Dan eat half a bowl of noodles - his appetite had vanished as his fever took proper hold - then cuddled him until he fell asleep. Phil remoistened the towel they had placed over Dan’s forehead in a weak attempt to control his temperature, kissed the sleeping boy’s cheek then walked over to where Scott was sterilising the cloth he’d used to clean Dan’s wound.

        “Hey, what was that thing you said could cure the infection?” Phil asked in a low voice, looking sideways at the doctor through his the scratched lenses of his glasses. Phil’s poor glasses had been through a lot, but they could just about survive on mediocre repair jobs and a lot of cleaning.

        “Flucloxacillin? It’s an antibiotic, treats cellulitis which is what I think Dan’s infection is,” Scott sighed and ran a hand through his beard, detangling a knot that had formed, “It’s just so frustrating seeing such a simple infection and not being able to do anything as it gradually kills him.”

        “He’s going to die if we don’t get him medicine, isn’t he?” Phil asked, his head lowered and his eyes focused intensely on the cloth Scott was holding, “Just cleaning it isn’t going to work.”

        “I…We don’t know for sure. He might still get bett-”

        “Don’t lie to me Scott,” Phil snapped, holding his hand up but still keeping his eyes downcast, “He’s dying, I can see how hopeless you look when you’re changing the dressing, we all do.”

        “Alright,” Scott relented, “this infection is too advanced to get rid of without proper medicine. There’s a miniscule chance that his immune system will fight it off, a chance that would be improved if we had proper antiseptic to clean with, but it’s really not looking good. I’m sorry.”

        “But with the antibiotics he’d be okay?” Phil pressed.

        “Probably, but there’s no point even thinking about it Phil,” Scott shook his head, placing a hand on Phil’s arm in a very doctor-y way, “We don’t have the medicine, all we do is keep him as comfortable as possible and hope for the best.”

        “There’s a hospital near here though, could the medicine be in there?”

        “Phil, you’re not going to that hospital,” Scott said warningly, “You know it’s a no-go zone, _way_ too dangerous. It’s just one big nest, you won’t get out alive and we can’t lose you and Dan.”

        “But we could sav-”

        “Phil, it would be a suicide mission. Dan wouldn’t want you to waste your life like that.”

        Phil huffed but stayed silent and went back to tend to Dan, changing the towel on his head again and frowning as his hand brushed over the burning skin of the other’s forehead. The door banged as Scott left the room to head upstairs and Phil pretended to ignore the whiskey bottle clutched in the man’s hand.

        “Dan’s going to die, isn’t he?” Phil jumped as Lily suddenly spoke from behind him, her voice soft but overflowing with sadness, “He’s sick and it’s gonna kill him.”

        Phil locked eyes with Lily, staring into her impossibly dark eyes, eyes that had already seen too much tragedy. He couldn’t just stand by and watch that list be added to.

        Phil quickly glanced around to check no one was listening - the only person downstairs with them was Zoe who was sat in the corner sewing up a hole in a pair of Will’s trousers - then knelt down right beside Lily and took her hand. “I want you to listen to me,” he whispered earnestly, “I promise you that I will do _everything_ I can to make sure Dan beats this infection. I’m going to go to the hospital and find the medicine he needs. It’s not far and, if I go tomorrow morning, I should be back by nightfall.”

        “The hospital is bad though,” Lily’s eyebrows knitted together in concern, “Are you sure you’ll be okay out there without Dan?”

        “‘Course I will, don’t worry about that sweet pea,” Phil ruffled the girl’s hair and smiled, effectively hiding how scared he was about going into the hospital alone. He’d try and convince either Will or Scott to come with him, but having them refuse wouldn’t stop him.

He was going to save Dan or die trying.

————————————————-

        “Phil?” Dan slurred heavily and opened his eyes, struggling to decipher the shapes in his bleary vision. His head felt like it had been filled with cotton wool that was set alight, the hot throbbing pain making everything hard to understand. He could see that there were three, person shaped blobs sitting beside him, but he didn’t know who they were, “Phil?”

        “Phil’s not here Dan,” one of the blobs said in a gentle, feminine voice; it must’ve been Zoe.

        “Phil?” Dan repeated after a few seconds of processing time, not being able to find the words in his foggy brain to ask where Phil was.

        Luckily, the blob who was obviously Will knew what he was trying to say. “He-uh-He went out Dan, to try and find medicine for you.”

        “Where’d he go?” Dan mumbled, his tongue feeling ten times it’s usual size, “I thought…we didn’t have medicine?”

        The third and final blob, Kyle, answered simply, “The Hospital.”

        Dan missed the way Zoe leant over to hit Kyle, reprimanding his bluntness, because a wave of panic flushed through his veins. Phil couldn’t go to the hospital, their last visit there had almost resulted in their deaths. That was with both of them; how the hell was Phil going to survive in there alone?

        “No-No we have to go get him,” Dan gasped and tried sitting up, only to be pushed back down by Kyle’s strong hands, “He’ll die!”

        “You’re not going anywhere, mate,” Kyle said, his usual gruff tone having been softened slightly, “You’re too sick.”

        “But Phil-Phil’s gone. He’s going to die, you need to save him!”

        “There’s nothing we can do Dan,” Will sighed. He smiled comfortingly at Dan, not realising that he could barely follow the conversation, let alone recognise facial expressions, “He snuck out when we were all asleep. He’ll be at the hospital by now, it’s too late to follow after him. Scott’s on lookout, Kyle and I are going to head out soon and see if he’s on his way back. We might quickly check the hospital if we don’t find him, but we’re not going a long way in. It’s too dangerous.”

        “But Phil might be in there,” Dan whimpered, feeling himself start to drift off again as a tear slipped down his face, “You need to make sure he’s okay.”

        “We’ll try our best Dan,” Will murmured, running a hand through Dan’s sweaty curls as he began to fall asleep again, “Just rest. Phil might be here by the time you wake up.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

“You are such an idiot, what the hell were you thinking?”

        “You’re the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet.”

        “Kyle, watch language around Lily! Now come here Phil so I can check you for bites then you can go to Dan, he’s still asleep right now but he’ll probably wake up soon.”

        The voices were barely understandable to Dan’s hazy brain, but he managed to snap into focus a little when he heard Phil’s name.

        Phil. Phil had gone to the hospital to try and get Dan his medicine. Was he back? Had he survived?

        Dan lay and mumbled almost silently to himself while he lost track of the buzzing voices, unnoticed by the others who were checking Phil and his cargo. He’d collected everything he could while searching for the antibiotics, including proper pain relief, bandages, sutures and a mixture of pill boxes and bottles. Everyone was adamantly acting angry with Phil for his stupidly risky mission, but deep down they knew the haul might end up saving more than just Dan’s life.

        Dan cracked his eyes open as he felt a cold hand running through his hair, coughing weakly and wincing as it hurt his sore throat. “Hey love, I’m right here,” Phil’s soft voice was right next to his ear and Dan could just about make out a pair of bright blue eyes just inches from his own, “We’re going to make you better now, just hang in there.”

        “Phil…” Dan breathed, a tiny smile appearing on his exhausted face, “You’re back. You…I thought you were gone.”

        “No, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere,” Phil soothed, though he didn’t know if Dan was aware enough to understand what he was saying. He was looking right at Phil but his eyes were glassy and vacant. Scott came and knelt beside Phil, passing over the right dosage of antibiotics and a glass or water, “Okay Dan, just swallow these for me and you’ll start getting better.”

        Getting no response other than another mumble of his name, Phil gently prised Dan’s mouth open and slipped the pills inside. He forced himself to ignore the way Dan’s unprepared throat gagged a little on the tablets, it would take a lot to get him to understand what was going on well enough to co-operate. Phil tipped a little water into Dan’s mouth before he could choke and, soon enough, the medicine had made it’s way into Dan’s stomach.

All they had to do was keep getting it in there and maybe he would make it through this infection. Maybe he would have a fighting chance at survival.

————————————————

        Phil had never been a religious man, but he was seriously considering whether there was some greater power because he wasn’t sure how Dan had managed to survive on anything other than a heaven-sent miracle.

        With the aid of proper antibiotics and Scott’s treasured antiseptic solution - both procured by Phil on his hospital trip -  Dan had fought off the infection and was getting better every day. He was still quite weak from the trauma and getting sick had sapped his strength even further, but he could just about complete the light exercises Scott went through with him each day to keep his muscles from wasting away into uselessness.

        Dan’s prospects were finally good enough for them to start looking towards the future, much to Will’s delight. There wasn’t a surface in the house that wasn’t covered in sketches and doodles and designs for possible prosthetic legs. Kyle had held an angry intervention when Will stole some pages out of the book he’d been reading to draw on, telling him that all Dan needed it for was to walk, not be able to detach and be used as machete. Lily had sat in the corner giggling at the argument and Dan had called Will over afterwards to ask if he could somehow incorporate a bowie knife into his new leg.

        While Dan’s health was getting better and better, tensions were slowly rising within the group. They’d lost two of their food runners and, while Kyle was just as capable, he could never work as seamlessly with Phil as Dan had. They were having to ration food a little more strictly and the constant, low level of hunger was beginning to make some people catty.

        “Zoe! Where have you put my bat?” Kyle’s angry yell reverberated through the walls of the house, making everyone within jump from the suddenness. It had been fairly peaceful, the only other noise being Dan and Will teaching Lily how to block attacks using her rapier and Phil’s worrying because ‘Will you know she isn’t so good at blocking yet, you almost took her head off! Dan tell him to be careful!’

        “I put it out on the balcony, you’d left it in the middle of the floor and I didn’t want anyone to trip on it,” Zoe called back from where she was reading in the corner.

        Kyle’s noisy footsteps could be heard stomping over to the balcony above before they came down the stairs. “Can you please stop moving my things around without telling me?” He huffed, the spiked and barbed-wire wrapped baseball bat hanging loosely at his side.

        “Chill out Kyle, she was just trying to keep the place tidy,” Phil said, trying to diffuse the situation before it could get out of hand.

        “But she knew we were going out for a food run later, why did she feel the need to put it all the way up on the balcony?” Kyle huffed, glaring at Zoe then lowering his voice to a grumble as he tested the sharpness of the nails embedded within his bat, “Don’t even know what she does around here other than get in the way.”

Phil opened his mouth to defend Zoe but she just waved her hand dismissively, her jaw set into a tense line that no one seemed to notice. “I’ll make sure to put it nearer next time, just get going,” she said as she let her focus back down on her book.

After Kyle let out an impatient huff, Phil quickly kissed Dan on the forehead and then he was gone. Dan slumped back into the sofa with an almost silent sigh; he always felt a little disheartened when he said goodbye to Phil before a supply run. It wasn’t so much concern for his safety - he was more than confident in Phil’s ability to survive, even more so after his successful mission to the hospital - he mostly wished he wasn’t stuck being useless on the sofa.

“Hey! Will!” Lily cried as her feet were swept out from beneath her and Will pounced, pretending to take a bite out of her neck. She huffed and pushed him away, a pout making her cheeks puff out in a way that was far too adorable for a girl who was holding an antique rapier in her hand, “That was so unfair, I wasn’t looking!”

“Zombies don’t play fair,” Will said teasingly, scrambling to his feet when Lily raised her weapon threateningly, “Anyway, you up for another round Lils?”

“Dan? Do you want to go again?” Lily asked, pushing a long strand of hair behind her ear as she looked at Dan.

“Nah, I think I’m going to just have a snooze,” Dan smiled wanly, not sitting up from where he’d lain down, “Just watching you dashing around like that made me tired.”

Lily giggled then turned to Will and told him she’d rather have a little break too, before perching herself onto the sofa beside Dan. She only had to share a look with him before laying down and snuggling herself close, one of Dan’s arms looping around her waist. Though Phil was by far a better hugger than Dan, Lily had always found something about being in Dan’s arms the most comforting. Perhaps because Dan wasn’t so openly caring to everyone a genuine hug felt more special, or maybe it was just his general feeling of … _warmth_.

“You didn’t have to stop for me,” Dan murmured, one of his long fingers twirling into Lily’s plait, “You were having fun.”

“We’d been going for ages already Dan,” Lily rolled her dark eyes a little, her long eyelashes tickling the skin around Dan’s shoulder, “Besides, you’re a much better teacher than Will. He just tries to trip me all the time.”

“You’ll thank me when there’s zombies grabbing at your ankles,” Will called from across the room, the front of his hair hanging over his latest design for Dan’s leg. He was getting close to the point at which he could work on prototypes and he had already been making some very specific ‘orders’ with Phil and Kyle when they went out on supply runs, preparations for when he could actually start building something.

“Shut up and get back to your doodling,” Lily turned her head a little and stuck her tongue out at Will before snuggling back into Dan. She tried to ignore the slightly unnerving space left where Dan’s lower leg should be, just like they all did, “Are you doing okay now? You’re not getting sick at all are you?” Lily was so scared that Dan was going to deteriorate again. It had happened so suddenly before and they’d come so close to losing him, who was to say it couldn’t happen again?

“I’m fine Lily, I promise,” Dan soothed, rubbing his hand up and down her back slowly to comfort her, “Scott says I’m doing really well and, even if I do get another infection, we have proper medicine now. You don’t have to worry about that anymore, okay?”

“Okay,” Lily whispered, falling silent for a few moments before looking up at Dan with watery eyes, “Just…promise you’ll tell people straight away if you start feeling bad, so Scott can make you better before you get too bad again.”

“I will, don’t worry,” Dan whispered, fighting against his drooping eyes. Tiredness seemed to wash over him suddenly nowadays, making it almost to ward off sleep for long when it struck no matter how much he wanted to continue a conversation.

Lily could see that Dan was struggling, so she just settled for talking quietly about what Scott had taught her recently and watched as Dan gradually drifted off to sleep. She stayed beside for him for about half an hour, just watching his peaceful face and enjoying his warmth until Scott came in to swap with Zoe for guard duty and needed Lily to help with dinner.

—————————————-

          _Bang!_

        Dan jolted awake the same moment Kyle swore loudly. He could only lie on the sofa and listen as everyone bustled around upstairs, their worried voices audible but not coherent. Dan knew better than to call up, if there was any danger relating to zombies then shouting would be suicide. He just listened closely to any sign of movement downstairs and cursed himself for not making sure he had a weapon within reach.

        Eventually, someone seemed to remember they had a one-legged, defenseless friend on the sofa who was clueless to the current situation and Phil quickly came downstairs to update him.

        “What’s going on Phil? What was that big bang?”

        “The lights have blown out,” Phil ran a hand through his tangled hair, his glasses lying even more crooked than usual on his nose. Even someone who didn’t know him inside out the way Dan did could tell he was stressed. He had good reason too.

        After they’d first found the house and realised how perfect it was from a survival standpoint, Will had spent a few months creating a complex and effective security system. There were trip wires all around the lower floor, linked to various alarms and traps that could be activated should there be a serious threat. The main feature - Will’s pride and joy - was the two large floodlights that had been rigged up on the first floor balcony. Will had managed to work out an agreement with the people at the museum to get everything he needed; by modifying weapons and helping with their own security, he was able to get low energy floodlights as well as a powerful battery that could recharge with the solar panel affixed to the top.

        The lights were vital, zombies were sensitive to light so would avoid coming anywhere near the brightness. If they did, they were significantly weaker and much less organised. The lights meant they could have just one person on watch overnight and meant they hadn’t had to deal with a single attack in the entire time they’d had them running.

        “Shit, are there any zombies out there tonight?” Dan asked. Maybe they’d get lucky, maybe they’d been inaccessible for so long the zombies wouldn’t come looking, maybe-

        Dan’s desperate inner monologue was abruptly cut off by the sound of Kyle discharging a crossbow bolt out on the balcony. Phil didn’t even to answer Dan’s question and, before he could ask his next, Phil had already collected Dan’s Defiler and one of the spare crossbows and deposited it on the sofa. They wouldn’t be a great deal of use, Dan’s position would be incredibly vulnerable even without his weakened muscles, but it made him feel a lot safer and that was all they could really do.

        Knowing that Dan was absolutely terrified but would vehemently deny it, Phil took matters into his own hands and gently slid himself under Dan, letting Dan’s trembling body lay atop his and holding him close. “Calm down, we’re going to fine,” Phil cooed soothingly, feeling how Dan was practically vibrating in fear, “I’m here and everyone’s upstairs, we’re going to be okay.”

        “But what if they get in? I’m a sitting duck Phil,” Dan whimpered, burying his head in Phil’s chest as he tried to keep some of dignity and not turn into a blubbering mess. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold it back though, “They’ll tear me apart.”

        “I’ll be here, I’ll protect yo-” Phil was cut of by Dan letting out a squeal and grabbing onto Phil a little tighter. There was a steady _thump thump thump_ coming from the front door, each impact being followed by a low, rattling moan, “Shh Dan, you’ve got to be quiet. It’s okay, they’re still outside and the door is reinforced. We’re still okay.”

        Phil continued whispering substanceless words of comfort into Dan’s ear, kissing his nest of curly hair, but Dan’s shaking just got worse and worse. He was going to have a panic attack if Phil didn’t do something to distract him from the incessant sound of death knocking on their door, literally.

        “Hey, do you remember that time when we were travelling after leaving the university and we found that cat hiding a store?” Phil figured that maybe engaging Dan in their past would help him forget about the present, “The one that you said would be feral but was the biggest sweetheart ever?”

        “Y-Yeah, I remember,” Dan’s voice wavered but a shaky smile appeared on his face and his body started to relax a little, “You-You gave it some tuna and then it wouldn’t leave you alone. You wanted to take it with us because you’re an idiot.”

        “I am not, it could’ve been our mascot. We would’ve been a proper little team, the kind people write stories about in the future. Three men and a cat, fighting against all the odds to survive.”

        “Two men and an idiot who’s always sneezing and attracting zombies because he’s fucking allergic to cats and would probably insist on sleeping with it every night.”

        “Fine, maybe having perpetually itchy eyes wouldn’t be the best survival method,” Phil conceded, internally smiling because Dan’s shaking had almost completed dissipated now, “But it would’ve been cool to have a pet. We could’ve trained it to fight for us, Will could’ve made it a little suit of armour too.”

        “I’m sure the cat would’ve loved that,” Phil didn’t need to look down to know Dan was rolling his eyes, “And I think you’re overestimating a cat’s training capacity a bit there.”

        “I am not, cats are really trainable. My friend once trained his cat to dance up on her hind legs.”

        “Okay, I call bullshit there.”

        The two boys were in for a sleepless night but, as always, they were each other’s security blanket. They would each keep the other safe and calm until the sun rose and the zombies at the door could be dealt with safely. They would be okay.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Everyone who survived the initial wave of infection had quickly learned that you never wanted to go against more than three zombies at night. They were incredibly sensitive to light, so the most threat they could pose was a bumbling mass of bodies but they were completely different creature at night. They could actually fight back to some capacity and - while they were still mindless bodies controlled by a virus - they were much more predatory. It was much safer to hide away and wait until morning to attack.

        Luckily, the door held so Kyle, Will, Scott and Phil could do a quick ‘clean up’ once it was light enough before Will went off to find out what went wrong. They all convened over a breakfast of bland porridge as Will explained the situation.

        “Basically, it’s all screwed,” he said and dropped what looked like a melted mess of plastic and spaghetti thin metal into the middle of the living room then sulkily started eating his breakfast, “Something happened inside one of the lights, it overheated and melted a bunch of the inner wiring. Seems it must’ve caused a surge or something because all the others have gone too. I should be able to fix them alright, I just need to replace the wiring and the bulbs, but we’re going to need to do a run over to the museum to get some supplies.”

        “Aren’t they still annoyed with us after Kyle got into that fight with one of their men over ‘territory rights’ for one of the shops?” Zoe piped up, ignore the bitter glare Kyle shot her way. He wasn’t proud that he was reason relations with the museum group were shaky, but they had been using that shop as a scavenging spot for a few weeks and he wasn’t just going to let them waltz in and take whatever they wanted. Not after he and Phil had spent almost an hour clearing the place of the undead.

        “Yeah, that’s why I was going to say that Scott should come. He’s good with the negotiating and they won’t want to risk getting on his bad side,” Will shrugged and Scott nodded, his eyes staying focused on the piece of paper in his hand. Will had come up with a few final designs for a prosthetic for Dan, so Scott was reviewing them to make sure they would actually work. He’d discarded one immediately when he saw that the foot was designed to detach and turn into a dagger, though he’d begrudgingly ok-ed the one with a Bowie knife embedded into the main body because, technically, there were no faults with the structure.

        “You’ll need me to come though, it’s a long enough journey to pose a threat so you’ll have to have me and Phil as protection,” Kyle pointed out, “And you’ll have to come, Will, otherwise we won’t know what to get.”

        “Couldn’t Will go for protection and Phil stay here?” Dan asked, silently adding ‘with me’ to the end of his question.

        “If they’re getting two of those big bulbs and all the wires they need, Will and Scott would both be carrying too much stuff to be useful in a fight,” Kyle shrugged. He didn’t quite understand Dan and Phil’s ‘separation issues’, “It’s a half an hour max round trip to the museum if we stop at the stockpile on the way, providing we don’t run into any trouble, and it shouldn’t take long to negotiate. We’ll probably be an hour, hour and half max.”

        “I suppose,” Dan reluctantly agreed and leant into Phil a little more as they ate. Phil spent most of his free time, including mealtimes, cuddling with Dan on the sofa.

        Soon enough, breakfast had been cleared away and the group were ready to depart, laden down with weapons and backpacks of supplies they were willing to trade.

        “Don’t look so grumpy, we’ll only be gone an hour or so,” Phil leant over Dan to kiss him goodbye, chuckling at the indignant retort he got before a more serious ‘I love you’. They would never part without saying it, just in case. You never knew which goodbye could be the last.

        Phil gave Dan one more kiss, lingering and joined the others then the front door was swinging shut with a bang and a click as Will activated some of the booby traps they’d set in case of intruders. They had to defend not only against zombies, but other humans too. The apocalypse could make some people do scary things.

        Zoe quickly left to take up position on guard out front, her voice clipped and her clenched so tightly her knuckles were blanched. Dan just shrugged it off, she was probably just stressed after last night.

        It was less than ten minutes later, when Dan was giving Lily tips on how to escape the hold of a zombie, that the banging started again. Dan had a brief moment of blind panic because _fuck_ he was completely helpless and neither Zoe nor Lily were enough to fight off a hoard. But that moment passed and Dan noticed something; the banging wasn’t the unnervingly steady _thump thump thump_ of zombies trying to batter down the door, the bangs were interspaced with scratching and rattling the door handle. It was the sound of something trying to break in rather than just force it’s way through to the scent of fresh meat. It wasn’t zombies, it was humans.

        “Lily, hand me my Defiler then grab your rapier go hide upstairs under your bed. Don’t come down until I call up and say it’s safe. Okay?”

        Though her wide eyes clearly showed the rising fear level within her, Lily nodded and quickly followed Dan’s orders - after giving him another hug of course. She knew Dan well enough to tell when he was being serious and that he was only serious when there was something really dangerous going on, but she was still young and still needed that little bit of physical comfort and reassurance that Dan was there for her.

            Dan tried to steady his breathing a little and sat himself up as much as he could, trying to look intimidating despite his lacking limb and sickly pallor. He silently prayed that Zoe would hear what was happening and come stand with him, but he daren’t call up to her and he couldn’t hear any movement above after Lily’s light footsteps stopped.

        His lips were dry and his chest felt a little tight as the door was heard caving in on itself below. Dan held his breath as he waited for the sound of Will’s traps to deploy and hopefully deter the intruders from coming any further. But Dan heard no crossbow bolts being launched, no heavy axes swinging down in a deadly arch; instead there was a few minutes of silence then footsteps on the stairs.

        Whoever had broken in had just avoided all the traps perfectly and they were now heading upstairs. Right towards where Dan was laying virtually helpless and alone.

        “Well, look who we have here,” the harsh voice was tainted with laughter and Dan realised that his situation was even worse than he’d first thought, “Long time, no see Danny boy.”

        With the world in tatters and resources hard to come by, it inevitable that enemies would be made. Anyone who was kind and generous enough to avoid it had either starved to death or sacrificed themselves long ago. It was the pure embodiment of survival of the fittest and everyone reacted to that differently. Dan, Phil and their group just tried to keep to themselves as best they could, not helping anyone else but not hindering them either.

        But others took it one step further, they saw other surviving groups as nothing more than competition that should either be supressed or destroyed. Dan was now surrounded by the latter kind of people, ones he had first encountered many months ago and would gladly never see again. They had tried breaking in not long after Dan’s group had settled in the Kensington house, wanting to take it for themselves. Luckily, the bases of Will’s security system were already in place and they hadn’t realised quite how deadly Dan and Phil were as a team. After losing two people to Dan’s hand, they had left with their tails between their legs and bitterness in their eyes. Dan assumed they wouldn’t be stupid enough to try again but here they were, standing over Dan with smug grins across their faces.

        “Didn’t think I’d be seeing your ugly mug again Liam, not after I almost caved it in last time,” Dan hissed. He’d draped a blanket over himself and hoped, by keeping up an arrogant, self-assured attitude the other group would be none the wiser to his handicap, “I mean, I knew you were a bit thick but I didn’t think you were stupid enough to try going against us again. The others have only gone to get some water, they’ll be back any minute and we’ll just crush you again.”

        “Oh Danny, I knew you were a cocky little shit but you seem to be a bit deluded,” Liam mouth stretched into a shark’s grin as he bent over Dan a little, paying no heed to the Defiler Dan was holding only inches from his head. Dan didn’t know why he seemed so confident and wished he could just take a swing, but he knew how much strength he’d lost over the last months and didn’t want to give that away if he could help it.

        Liam barked out an order for the others to start searching the room and Dan’s weapon was suddenly ripped from his hand, his huff of complaint cut off with an abrupt gasp as Liam leant purposefully on his injured leg. “You know what I think Dan,” Liam’s voice was low and dangerous, sending a shiver of fear down Dan’s spine, “I think you’re a little liar. I think that your boyfriend won’t be back for at least another hour and I think you’re too crippled to even make a scratch with that stupid weapon of yours.”

        He knew. How did he know? He knew where the group had gone and he knew about Dan’s leg. This attack had been very purposefully planned for the exact moment they were at their most vulnerable and defenceless.

        Dan didn’t say anything, just sucked in a sharp breath and blinked back tears as Liam gave his stump a squeeze. “I think we both know I’m right too,” Liam chuckled harshly, giving Dan’s face a rough slap before straightening up and looking towards the stairs. Dan followed his gaze and felt a flutter of hope. Zoe was there, she might not have been the best fighter but it was better than being alone.

        “Zoe, finally,” Dan breathed, sitting up a little more and motioning with his head for her to pick up the crossbow. It was one of the few weapons she was proficient in using and might make her enough of a threat to cause concern for the intruders.

        Zoe’s face was unreadable as she finished descending the stairs, only glancing at Dan once. Liam didn’t move from where he was standing over Dan, but his lips turned up into a smirk.

Dan’s pleading eyes followed Zoe as she walked straight past the crossbow to stand beside Liam, her own eyes focused firmly on the floor as she placed a hand on the other man’s arm. “Let’s just get this over with Liam, you don’t need to draw it out like this,” she said softly, still avoiding Dan’s now betrayed look, “Just-You don’t need to hurt him.”

Liam looked like he was going to object, but something made him shrug and take a step back, muttering something about Zoe sorting Dan out before walking off to help the rest of his group sort through the weapons stash.

“Zoe, what’s going on? Why are you working with the-Hey! Hey stop!” Dan started to panic as Zoe silently put her hands under his armpits and pulled him up to his feet. Dan hadn’t been fully upright for over a month, even if he still had both feet he’d be very wobbly. He had no choice but to grab onto Zoe arms, his whole body trembling and his breath coming out in short bursts through his nose.

“I’m sorry Dan, just co-operate and things will be fine,” Zoe mumbled, looking up for a fraction of a second before slowing guiding Dan towards the stairs, letting him lean heavily on her as he hopped and tried to keep his balance.

“Please Zoe, please just think about this,” Dan’s voice was more of a whimper as Zoe gently pulled him down the stairs towards the front door. He could easily see what was happening here; Zoe had, for whatever reason, teamed up with a group that hated their own and they were taking the house by force. They’d have all the food and weapons Dan’s group had spent over a year collecting, leaving Dan, Phil, Will, Kyle, Scott and Lily with no shelter and only the supplies that were taking out with the scavenging group, “I don’t know why you’re doing this, but please just think about it. Think about how much danger Lily will be in.”

“She’ll have all of you to look out for her. Everyone who went out earlier took weapons and I’ll give you a crossbow. Once the other’s get back you can go hide out in one of the storehouses until you find somewhere more permanent, you’ll be fine,” Zoe was clearly making an effort to keep her voice emotionless and Dan assumed it was guilt, so tried to use that to his advantage.

“You know as well as I do that this house is the safest place for Lily, for all of us. Why are you doing this? Everything was going amazing,” Dan pleaded, starting to resist Zoe’s pull more as they reached the bottom floor, “Please Zoe, don’t do this.”

“You want to know why I’m doing this? Fine, I’ll tell you,” Zoe’s voice was suddenly angry as she wrenched the front door open and pushed Dan out, not caring that he immediately fell with a yelp of pain, “I’m doing this because it’s not _us_ that had everything ‘going amazing’, it was all of you even though I’ve done so much for you all. You all seem to forget how I was the one who took the night watch pretty much every day until Will got the lights working properly. You just kept having a go at me for messing up with things the next day even though I’d barely slept for a week. None of you appreciate me and you’re all downright mean to me sometimes. Liam and his group are going to teach me how to fight so I can be a supply runner for them, they’re going to give me a proper role and appreciate me unlike you lot ever did. Good luck Dan, I’ll send Lily down now.”

Dan watched from the floor as Zoe turned on her heel and stormed back inside, thinking over her words. He’d never even considered their treatment of Zoe to be particularly bad, she’d always been more of a background character; the only time she’d really stood out was the dramatic way in which she’d joined the group. He knew Kyle would make the occasionally snide remark about Zoe’s apparent lack of skills, but as far as he knew no one else did anything.

No one else did anything. They all just let Kyle’s words slide and never stood up for Zoe, their indifference was probably just as bad.

Dan groaned and pushed himself to lean against the front wall of the house, his leg still throbbing from the rough treatment of both Liam and Zoe. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to fight off tears because Lily would be here soon and she would be scared enough as it was.

He heard her soft footsteps coming down the stairs and the front door opening and closing, before Lily sat beside him and cuddled up close. “Zoe gave me this,” Lily murmured and placed a crossbow in Dan’s lap, her own taken up with a backpack, “She gave me some food and a little first aid kit of the stuff Phil got from the hospital. She let me grab Will’s blueprints for the prosthetic too, which was good of her.”

“I guess,” Dan sighed, wrapping an arm around Lily and pulling her in close. He could feel her quickened breath and heart beat, though he couldn’t do much to calm her since he was in a similar state, “Don’t worry Lil, the other’s will be back in half an hour or so then we can go get somewhere safe. I’ll protect you until then, I promise.”

Lily’s hair tickled Dan’s chin as she nodded. He balanced the crossbow on the bent knee of his good leg and kept a tight hold on Lily, eyes focused on the end of the road as he waited for some sign of movement. His stomach churned as he waited to see if it would be his friends bringing safety and security for he and Lily, or whether it would be a hoard coming to pick them off like the sitting ducks they were.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been two years since I first started posting this and I'm trying my best to get back into writing so there should be semi-regular updates. Sorry about the wait everyone (and the cliffhanger on the last chapter whoops), hope you enjoy!  
> Also, this isn't beta-ed since I've lost contact with my old beta so if anyone is interested in helping me out just get in touch :D

“I can’t believe she fucking sold us out,” Kyle growled, his anger just intensifying as he struggled to light the rusty camp stove they’d found in the back of their current hideout, “I told you she was no good.”

They had multiple little store rooms and safe spots in the area surrounding their original house and had just about managed to get in and secure one before night had fallen. Will had rigged up some quick traps so they should be safe even if a horde scented them out, but being away from the familiar security of the house had put them all on edge.

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t continuously treated her like crap she might have stayed loyal,” Dan snapped back, already in an incredibly grumpy mood after the painful trek over. He’d had to be supported by Phil and Scott the entire way and, although they tried their best, the odd knock or scrape had been unavoidable. Not to mention he’d spent weeks just laying on the sofa so his muscles were sore from all the exertion.

“Oh so you’re saying this is my fault?” Kyle turned to glare daggers at Dan, looking as if he were contemplating walking over and giving him a good thump, “When  _ she’s _ the one who colluded with Liam and the others to steal everything we’ve worked for. She’s the one-”

“That’s enough, boys!” Scott said sternly, standing over the unlit stove with his arms crossed, “It doesn’t matter whose fault this is. There’s things all of us could have done to prevent this and throwing accusations around won’t help anything. What happened, happened. We can’t change that now so the best thing we can do is focus on where we go from here.”

As sour as Dan’s mood was, he couldn’t argue with Scott and was silently grateful they had the older man in their group with them. His years as a doctor had given him a level head and a logical mind that were invaluable when tensions boiled over in the group.

“Scott’s right,” Will said, his voice coming from behind a wall of boxes at the back of the large room. They hadn’t used this storeroom for a while because their scavenging had been sufficient as of late, so he was busy doing an inventory, “We have a good amount of food in here but it won’t last forever and it’s all long life stuff so I doubt the nutrition is going to be great. We don’t need to rush into finding somewhere new, it’s safe enough here, but I don’t really like the idea of it becoming permanent. I’m sure there’s better places out there.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda spooky here,” Lily murmured, her small body curled up on one of the tatty sofas Scott had dragged out, “There’s loads of spiders too.”

“What?” Dan squeaked, his eyes wide as he pushed himself a little more upright on his sofa and looked around the room.

Just like that, the tension in the room seemed to dissolve as everyone began giggling at Dan’s reaction. He might have been deadly in a fight and a sarcastic bastard, but even after everything he’d been through in the apocalypse, he was still deathly afraid of spiders.

 

\-----------------------------------

 

“C’mon Scott, I only want to go out for an hour or so and Phil will be with me the entire time,” Dan pleaded, “It’s midday and it’s clear outside, I’ll be fine.”

Dan had been begging for days at this point and he’d thought Scott might have broken by now, but the older man was remaining stubborn in his position. They’d stayed in the storehouse for just over a week until Will, Kyle and Phil managed to find a suitable new home. The new place was great, but not exactly what would be described as suitable for a disabled person. There were a lot of stairs so, even with the pair of crutches Will had managed to cobble together from metal pipes and some other scraps, Dan was pretty much stuck in the main living room.

He and Phil had shared one of the bedrooms upstairs at first, but Dan was still very weak and he’d gotten fed up with having to be carried up to bed every night so now he just slept on the sofa.

He’d thought getting the crutches would be great, but the fact he was still very limited in his movements despite them was making him feel more and more trapped in the stuffy living room. He just wanted to go outside and get some fresh air, but Scott was adamant it was too dangerous.

“No, Dan,” he said firmly, not looking up from his washing up bowl, “You’re still too weak. If something happens then Phil won’t be able to get you back inside and protect you both at the same time. Plus it’ll be an unnecessary strain on your body, you’re meant to be building up strength gradually so you don’t end up injuring yourself more. It’s three floors down and back up again, that’s too much for you right now.”

“But I-”

“Dan, I get that you want to go out, but the risks aren’t worth it. We’ll keep doing your exercises and I’m sure you’ll be strong enough soon. Now I don’t want to hear anything else about it.”

Scott’s tone left no room for arguments so Dan just flopped back down onto the sofa, letting out a slightly over dramatic groan that Scott firmly ignored. Lily saw that he was clearly upset so climbed onto the sofa beside him, cuddling up to his chest and talking to him quietly until he dozed off. He was still building back his strength and the exercises Scott put him through daily really wore him out.

Once she was sure Dan was asleep, Lily carefully climbed out from under his arm and headed to the other room where Phil was sorting through the haul from their last scavenging mission.

“How long do you think it’ll be until Dan will be able to walk around better?” She asked as she plonked down onto the floor beside Phil and started to help organise the food.

“I’m really not sure Lil,” Phil sighed. He’d noticed how disheartened Dan was becoming and it was really starting to concern him, but he didn’t know what he could do to help, “He’s strong and he’s determined, but his body really suffered from the trauma and the infection. I’m sure the stress lately didn’t help, either.”

Lily nodded then was silent for a few minutes, not really focused on organising the various packs and cans. “I think you should take him outside,” she whispered, looking up at Phil with dark eyes that were tragically wise beyond her years, “I know Scott says he shouldn’t, but I think he might go crazy or even...give up if he stays stuck in here much longer. You won’t have to take him out for long and you can get Will or Kyle to go with you so you have some protection. If you go in the middle of the day then there shouldn’t even be any zombies around anyway. I just think it might help give him some hope and remind him of why he needs to get himself better as quickly as he can.”

It was Phil’s turn to be silent now, thinking over Lily’s words. He’d always been one to take Scott’s word as law when it came to medical issues, but he’d been an A&E doctor and not a psychiatrist so perhaps he wasn’t fully considering just how bad Dan’s mental state could be getting. Phil knew that he’d suffered depression in the past and had recognised the signs that it might be creeping back in, that would be the last thing Dan needed when he was meant to be focusing on his recovery.

“Scott and Kyle are going out soon to get some more things from the museum group for Will’s prosthetic,” Lily said, seeing that Phil wasn’t far from agreeing with her, “You and Will could take him out then and Scott’d never even have to know.”

“You know, you’re a cunning little thing aren’t you?” Phil chuckled softly, making Lily smirk and giggle, “Looks like we’re going to have a little undercover mission this afternoon.”

 

\--------------------------------

 

“Dan. Daaaaan. Wake up Dan, we’re breaking you out.”

Dan blinked himself awake slowly, mumbling a complaint as he was shaken gently by whoever was speaking to him. His eyes slowly focused on Will’s messy hair and Phil’s bright eyes, both leaning over him where he’d been sprawled out on the sofa.

“What’re you on about?” He grumbled, not happy about having been disturbed from his nap, “What are you breaking me out of?”

“We’re taking you outside buddy, give you a chance to stretch that one leg you have left,” Will grinned. Dan could hear Lily giggling softly from somewhere behind the pair that were still leaning over him.

“Scott’s out at the moment and it’s completely clear outside,” Phil explained when he saw how confused Dan looked about Will’s joke, “I know he said you weren’t allowed out, but we all agreed it’ll do you more harm than good to just wait until your strength is properly back up. Will is going to come to protect us in case something happens, so I’ll be able to support you the whole way if you need it.”

“A-Are you serious?” Dan’s eyes were wide and he shot up into a seated position, looking between his friends as if he didn’t quite believe what he was hearing, “You’re taking me out?”

“Yep,” Phil grinned, happy to be seeing some kind of joy in Dan’s face for the first time in a while, “We can’t stay out long because Scott is right when he says your body is still weak, but I was thinking we could go and sit on the wall out front for a bit so you can get some proper fresh air and just get out of this house for a while.”

“Oh my god, thank you so much!” Dan beamed, throwing his arms around Phil and giving him a tight squeeze. It was clear from his elation at the simple idea of short visit outside how much being stuck in the house was affecting him, confirming for everyone in the room that the risks were more than worth it, “I love you so much.”

“Hey, it was my idea,” Lily piped up, her own face almost splitting in half with her wide grin, “Where’s my love?”

“C’mere then,” Dan giggled, waving the younger girl over to receive a tight hug.

“Right, as cute as this all is,” Will interrupted, his arms crossed though his face also sported a large grin, “We’ve got somewhere to be, so shall we head off?”

It wasn’t easy to get Dan down the multiple flights of stairs in their new home. Will was walking in front, ready to catch Dan if he fell or fight off any trouble that came their way, while Phil supported most of Dan’s weight. He’d initially tried to go down on his own using his crutches, but he’d almost immediately fallen and nearly took both Phil and Will down the whole flight of stairs with him.

By the time they reached the bottom, Dan’s limbs were all trembling a little from the effort and his forehead was covered in a slight sheen of sweat. Phil wondering if maybe this was too much for him after all, but all of his doubts wiped away the moment they stepped outside the front door.

Though he was still a little breathless, the smile on Dan’s face was bright enough to rival the sun. The last time he’d been outside had been when they moved to the new house and, thanks to a run in with a hoard after they’d broken into a building to rest, that hadn’t exactly been an enjoyable experience.

But now they were safe and there were no zombies to be seen, so Dan could truly just enjoy being out in the open air. The sun was hidden behind some clouds but it was still giving Dan a pleasant warmth against his skin, only a slight breeze blowing past and ruffling his curly fringe.

Phil gently guided Dan over to a little wall that bordered the house’s overgrown front garden, helping him sit down comfortably before taking the spot beside him. Will was stood out in the street, keeping an eye out but also giving Dan and Phil some space to enjoy this moment together.

Neither of them said anything for a long while, Phil giving Dan time just to relish in his happiness. At one point Dan leant into Phil’s chest, a soft, contented hum rumbling in his chest. His smile hadn’t dimmed once since they’d stepped outside.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. It was so calm and serene, he didn’t want to disturb that, “I didn’t realise just how much I missed...this. Just being outside and not couped up in that stuffy living room. I know I still can’t do anything more, but it’s making me feel more...free.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Phil murmured back, looking down at Dan fondly, “I’d do anything to help you feel better, God knows you deserve it after these last few months.”

“You really are perfect, you know that?” Dan grinned, tearing his gaze away from the sky to look up into Phil’s face. He leant forward, capturing Phil’s lips in a brief but very sweet kiss, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”


End file.
